Getting Preschoolers Ready For THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

by Nicole Walker

THE first day of school is the starting point of your child's academic journey. How your child fares on that road, experts say, has much to do with your degree of support. The better you prepare your child for the educational environment, especially during those early, formative years, the better your child will do in school and in life.

The following first-day checklist will help you get your son or daughter off to a good start on the path to academic success.

* Monitor your child for school readiness

The calendar might say your child is old enough for school, but how emotionally, intellectually and socially prepared is your child? The amount of exposure your child has to other children and adults, the extent of your child's physical development, your child's ability to speak and communicate, the speed in which your child learns new things, even your child's overall health and well-being all determine whether your son or daughter is ready for school. "All children have different predispositions," says Dr. Robert Atwell, a Denver-based psychologist who deals with family issues. "People have to gauge how much encouragement a child may need, how independent this child is normally, since some kids are more clingy than others." If your child is lagging in one or several areas, it's up to you to bring your son or daughter up to speed.

* Develop your child independence

If your child is a bit on the clingy side, child experts say you can develop your child's independence which is crucial to succeeding on that critical first day--by giving him or her activities and tasks to build confidence and self-esteem. Give your son or daughter a responsibility to fulfill, whether it is helping with household chores or putting away toys. Praise good work and respond to less-than-great efforts with constructive criticism. "Children have to be able to venture into the world," Dr. Atwell says. "The degree to which they can successfully do that develops their confidence and allows them to see themselves as somebody who can go into the world and make something happen."

* Talk and read to your child

Most experts agree that the greatest way to prepare your child for learning is by talking and reading to him or her. Schedule daily story sessions with your child, usually during a time when both of you are relaxed. Encourage your child to read out loud with you and discuss the story you're reading. And don't stop with books. Talk to your children every opportunity you get. Ask them questions about themselves and the world around them, and encourage them to ask you questions. "When children have conversations with adults, they learn new words and important information, and also how to talk and listen," says Evelyn K. Moore, president of the National Black Child Development Institute. "When we read books together and tell stories to our children, we are teaching them important social skills and how to use language in very powerful ways."

* Schedule playtime

During the preschool years (age 3 to 5), children develop a mastery of daily life and their environment through play. "When children are playing, they are learning," Moore says, "learning to share and to express themselves--two skills that will help them in school." Games that involve physical activity such as running or jumping, and activities that rely on your child's manual dexterity--drawing, coloring, building objects further develop your child's motor skills. And playing with other young children develops social skills that are crucial to your child's success in school.

* Find out what your child will be learning

Schools often screen children before they start class to assess their knowledge and ability. Experts say parents should talk to administrators and find out their children's strong and weak points, and also ask what lessons will be taught in the upcoming year. Prior to that first day, parents can buttress any weaknesses, expose children to the types of things they'll be learning (the alphabet, numbers, colors or songs), and familiarize kids with the daily activities and schedule of the school.

* Visit school with your child before the first day

To ease any first-day anxiety, child experts say it's a good idea for parents to visit school with their child before the first day. Introduce your child to his or her teacher and school staff. Explore the different areas of the classroom and the school grounds. Familiarize your child with the route to the school. And by all means, get your child excited about school, about all the nice, new friends he or she will make, and all the fun things to do. The more exposure your child has to this new atmosphere, the better.

* Make sure your child is healthy

More important than buying new crayons and new clothes for the first day is making sure your child is in tip-top health for the school year. Experts say parents should schedule physical exams, immunizations, and hearing and vision screenings prior to that first day. Parents should also forewarn the school of any medical condition the child may have and supply the school with any medications the child may need. "When children don't feel well, they have a hard time learning at school," Moore says. "The same is true for children who are hungry. Keeping your children healthy and making sure they have a healthy breakfast every day will help them do well in school."

* React to first-day jitters with love

Even the best-prepared kids can suffer with first-day jitters. The most independent-minded children may resort to tears or tantrums that moment of separation from mommy or daddy. Experts say while it's common for children to be frightened or intimidated by a new experience, parents have to maintain control of the situation. "It may be unpleasant or uncomfortable, but you can't give in to it," Dr. Atwell says, adding that children will eventually get over that initial anxiety and calm down.

If necessary, you may want to stay with the child a few extra minutes, or even the entire first day, to help them adjust, then gradually shorten that time. Parents also have to be careful not to project their own anxieties onto their children. "If a parent is fearful and anxious," Dr. Atwell says, "the child will look at the parent and think, `Well, [my parent] knows more than I do, so something bad is going to happen."

Dr. Darlene Powell-Hopson, a clinical psychologist who works with children and families & co-authored Different and Wonderful: Raising Black Children in a Race-Conscious Society, says the best way to console an upset child is to assure him that it's okay to be afraid.

"You may even try some self-disclosure," Dr. Powell-Hopson says, "saying things like `Mommy was afraid when she started her new job,' or `Daddy was afraid when he went away to college.' It helps children to know that adults too are nervous in new situations."

Above all, do things to reassure your children that you love and care about them, even when you aren't around them. Give your children an object--a teddy bear, a favorite toy or a family photo--something your child can take out and look at when he needs to feel secure. Tell him those three most important words: "I love you.